Sorry if my English isn't understandable and if I don't use the right terms, I'm writing this past because I'm currently distressed and need to talk about this openly. As of the time that I'm writing this, I'm still a minor (I'll be turning 18 on August 17 of 2025).

I was an unsupervised child at the time when I started using the computer so it was common and it's still common for me to stumble on porn and certainly furry porn by accident or by pure curiosity, or just people online misleading me to see porn or straight up sending me porn (don't ask me how I had stumbled on porn specifically because even I forgot or am confused at how I was being subjected to emotional torment), and then get reminded of those in memes/shitposts re-using such materials in it that I had witnessed when I was younger, which still distresses me emotionally to this day.

Artstyle recognition is worst for me. There's so much porn and nsfw online so it's very likely that it will all differ and that I will not bother checking who it belongs to when I do stumble on one. However, people with artstyles that I recognize anywhere I go on the internet (such as Whygena's, e254e's, alfa995's and possibly many others' that I may have forgotten the names of) will not go unforgotten to me (I'll update names later if i remember more), it makes my PTSD kick in and it will not cease to give me a lump in my throat and make me tear up, that's how distressed it makes me. I am the most sensitive to artstyle recognition as I can tell who keeps on scarring me and who owes me an apology the most.

Take SourTheCat for example, being the only one that I had interacted with so far. I was unaware of their work at the time, so when I got their discord to post my fan work about them, they proposed me to join they server and I did, only to notice the amount of porn and nsfw in it and then promptly leaving the server and never interacting with them for years, then recently confronted them about it only for them not to remember anything, though when I did remind them of it in details they could only reply with something like "I had warned you though"... No you didn't? You never warned me of the colossal amount of your own porn there was in your server before you sent me your invite, you didn't even ask for my age before you sent me your invite, even worst I think I never heard about you even saying sorry to me.

I'm not up for confrontation or being the one starting a confrontation due to being extremely nervous and anxious and having the neverending fear of humiliation which could scar me more if it did happen. I don't know who you are, you may or may not be a nsfw artist (or a furry porn artist in that case) reading this, but if you are, which I hope you are since I'm writing all of this towards nsfw artists, please note that I do not hold a grudge against you, that even if I have or haven't haven't seen your work, even if it could scar me again, I respect it because I know the time and dedication it must take for you to finish such stuff and that it may be one of the ways or the only way that you profit (and that it would be wrong of me to despise you for doing your job), I know this sounds like some sort of fantasy or wholesome scenario that repeats in my head, but I would like (if you're so coincidentally one of the peoples noted above, which would make me very glad, but I think this would go unnoticed by them) if you could sincerely apologize to me or just simply say sorry. I just want to know if you're human enough to feel terrible for the emotional distress and scars that your work may have left on a former minor (me in the past, that is).

(Once again the peoples noted above, who I doubt will come across this message, would owe me an apology the most)

I don't know if you will ever find this page and listen to me, but I hope you'll understand and that you'll have the time to reply, reassure and comfort me despite the inner suffering that your work might've given to me, hell I'm in so much distress that I don't even care anymore we can even be friends.

Have a nice day, or goodnight.